'Either rehome the dog or your partner': Committed Boyfriend Adopts a Puppy for Girlfriend After She Begs Him for Months, Refuses to be Free Puppysitter When She Fails to Make an Effort in Raising Him

Author image for Blake Seidel
Blake Seidel • Managing Editor & Brand Manager
Dec 10, 2024 10:00 AM EST

Good morning, animal fam. We've awoken today to yet another story of people not understanding that puppies are not Christmas presents, they are 15-year commitments. Especially for the first two years until they become more or less "adults." Those first two years are a whirlwind of potty training, obedience training, exploring and understanding the world, constant affection and accidents, and a lot of work. Throw some sleepless nights in there as well while the puppy gets used to sleeping in a new place. Don't get us wrong, that puppy stage is magical, but it is a job.

After begging her boyfriend to adopt a puppy for months, quite literally two to three weeks later, she stopped putting in any effort at all. The boyfriend is now working full-time while dealing with a high-energy puppy, and let us tell you, that is nearly impawssible. Anyone would go crazy from the stress. So, he's left with a decision: what to do with the puppy….and what to do with the girlfriend? Scroll down to read the whole story below!

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  • 01
    Girlfriend spent months asking to adopt a dog, only to spend 0 time and effort
    via u/Nylsonnn
  • 02
    'Quite literally about 2 to 3 weeks later, my partner's back to hiding in her room till 2pm everyday, leaving all of the responsibilities to me. She doesn't take our dog on walks, never spends time with her unless she has guests over.'
    via JStaley401

    Oh, dear. The amount of walks you have to go on with a puppy is infinite. After they eat, after they play, after they drink some water…or anytime they start smelling around randomly. It's a lot of work!

  • 03
    Been living with partner for 2 years now, and for a long time we've always discussed getting a dog once we graduate and live in a proper house (aka no student house). She'd also mentioned how getting a dog would massively help her mental health and loneliness issues sometimes, being motivated to get up early to spend time and walk a dog
    via u/Nylsonnn
  • 04
    Few months into settling into our new home the idea of a dog came up again, and I decided to surprise her and say we're gonna look to adopt a puppy. She was ecstatic, months of excited searching until we found our lovely pup (omitting name for privacy).
    via u/Nylsonnn
  • 05
    Her family were very hesitant on our decision, claiming my partner would give up on the dog 2 weeks in (she has a terrible habit of only committing to something for a week), and she was adamant this wouldn't be the case.
    via u/Nylsonnn

    That's a tough situation to be in. They did warn him, though, so this couldn't have been terribly unexpected. Mostly disappointing, we suppose. But this tiny, cute puppy is depending on them now, and decisions have to be made.

  • 06
    After much reassurance, I went ahead with the adoption, and for the first week, everything was bliss. We had a puppy who had a surprising amount of house training, was playful (albeit incredibly shy), and the work was split healthily between myself and my partner.
    via u/Nylsonnn
  • 07
    But quite literally about 2/3 weeks later, my partner's back to hiding in her room till 1/2pm everyday, leaving all of the responsibilities to me (i work from home so im always left to look after our dog whilst in work calls), she doesn't take our dog on walks, never spends time with her unless she has guests over in which she has to be downstairs.
    via u/Nylsonnn
  • 08
    I'm losing so much energy at the moment: work is incredibly stressful, the dog needs constant attention and stimulation and toys/puzzles aren't sufficient (high energy/big time shredder) and whenever I bring up to my partner that she needs to pull her weight she plays victim and I'm running out of options and I'm not sure what to do. I love my dog so much but I can't do my job and make sure she's not shredding the house 24/7
    via u/Nylsonnn
  • 09
    TLDR; girlfriend asking for dog for years, we adopt, now spends 0 time with dog and leaves her FullTime working partner to do everything. Stress 100% and not sure what to do
    via u/Nylsonnn
  • 10
    Edit/Update: Thanks everyone for the responses. I've decided I'm going to talk to her later today and tell her that things need to change otherwise I'm simply leaving (my parents have offered to let me move home if things go sideways). Think it's fair to put my cards on the table and let her at least present hers and go 'You need to grow up a bit and start carrying your own weight and look after the dog you wanted so much' and go from there. I'll keep this space updated. Cheers everyone.
    via u/Nylsonnn
  • 11
    Fragrant_Session6186 • 1h ago • As someone with 3 dogs with my partner ...this would frustrate me to no end dogs are a huge responsibility ...I honestly would re-evaluate your relationship as your gf sounds incredibly immature and you need to decide if you want to spend your life with someone like that
    via u/Fragrant_Session6186
  • 12
    MomoNoHanna1986 · 1h ago • Her family already told you what would happen and it did. You got her the dog and now you have two choices, claim the dog as your own or find it another home. Do you really want to be with someone who locks herself in her room and lets you do everything? There is a third option, keep the dog for yourself and break up with gf. You know what your options are, you probably don't like them
    via u/MomoNoHanna1986
  • 13
    are, you probably don't like them though. But that dog deserves to be wanted. If you do give up the dog, do the decent thing and don't drop it at a shelter. Find it a home or go through a no kill rescue organisation.
    via u/MomoNoHanna1986
  • 14
    ampmz 41m ago • Same thing happened to me, we split and I took the dog. Either you rehome the dog or your partner.
    via u/ampmz
  • 15
    Mojojojo3030 • 40m ago • She has no idea what she needs. Like a lot of depressed people, she is drowning and flailing around for anything to save her from it. She reached out for a puppy. Didn't save her. What she needs is a therapist. What you need to do is stop handing her things that aren't a therapist, and consider whether she is mentally healthy enough to be in a relationship right now, or else you might drown too . Dog is a footnote here tbh.
    via u/Mojojojo3030
  • 16
    Handmaid Jam 42m ago • I might be wildly off mark here but does your partner have any mental health struggles? I was diagnosed with ADHD couple years ago (I'm in early 30s) and this is a textbook for meget excited about something, spend months of research/learning new stuff and then couple weeks/months in the interest is gone.
    via u/HandmaidJam
  • 17
    Mind you that this is mostly with hobbies (lastly it's been cross stitch, before that knitting) but I do find myself spending more time out of the house when my dogs. get too annoying/demanding. It also always starts the same, being super excited for the new thing until it's just gone. If I were you, I'd try to be firm but supportive and actually try to figure out where's the problem and try to guide your partner rather than take all the responsibility on yourself x
    via u/HandmaidJam
  • 18
    . • Born Elderberry_79... 58m ago • Oh man, sorry you're experiencing this. Similar thing happened to me: my ex gf begged me for a dog, I love dogs but didn't want one as I was in grad school, I finally relented after lots of reassurance that she'd be the primary caretaker. Well, months later she cheated on me and left without a word about the dog. So then the dog was mine. Five years on the dog is my best friend but it has certainly changed my life and routines.
    via u/Born_Elderberry_7997
  • 19
    I would re-evaluate your relationship with your gf based on how you've described it. Also I hate to suggest this, but if it's only been weeks, is there a chance of speaking to the rescue about it not working out with the puppy? I don't know, giving her back is maybe cruel but not if there's a better fit out there for her? I hope things get better :/
    via u/Born_Elderberry_7997
  • 20
    cr1zzl 1h ago Edited 58m ago • This is what trial adoptions are for - well, sorta, trial adoptions are mostly about how the dog will act, not so much how human will act, but in the case of first time owners (which I'm assuming she is?), it's kinda a trial for them as well.
    via u/cr1zzl
  • 21
    The dog will be okay. Tons of dogs go on trials and get sent back, also lots of dogs get fostered temporarily. Dogs are pretty resilient. And it sounds like your pup with have no issues getting adopted / no major issues. You gave this dog a few weeks reprieve from the shelter. If you or your partner want to look into other animals, maybe think about an older cat who needs a home but is pretty independent. If you go this route, just be honest with the shelter about what you can actually provide t
    via u/cr1zzl
  • 22
    There's also the issue of whether or not you want to stay with your partner if this is their personality... but this is a dog sub, not a relationship sub.
    via u/cr1zzl
  • 23
    unde_cisive 1h ago • mutt mix ⋅ I think you two need to have a talk about how it's going with the dog and how this is affecting both of you mentally. Your girlfriend needs to be made very aware that this is hurting you. I would also inquire to see how she feels about the dog now, because it sounds like she's struggling to bond with it and this makes it hard for her to take initiative on the caretaking. In all honesty as a grown-a adult who wanted a dog, this isn't an excuse
    via u/unde_cisive
  • 24
    to get out if taking care of it, but putting those feelings on the table will give you both perspective on what's missing here. In order to make sure the division of doggie labour is fair, it helps to set up a caretaking tasks roster. If your girlfriend stays in the bedroom until noon, for example, you could do the morning walk and she can do the midday walk when she wakes up. A couple of
    via u/unde_cisive
  • 25
    weeks in, evaluatie how well the roster has been working out. If you're still stuck doing all of her assigned tasks, it's time for an ultimatum. It's awesome that you're stepping up for this dog but also super unfair. Tell her, if she doesn't step up, then the dog will be rehomed. Give her another month to get into the routine, and otherwise, follow through on your threats.
    via u/unde_cisive
  • 26
    It really annoys me that you're having to treat your adult girlfriend like a child who got a puppy for Christmas, but here we are. As a side note, what made you decide to get a high-energy breed? Knowing that your girlfriend has a tendency to drop these things like a week in? If you ever get another dog in the future, I would urge you to consider a low energy breed and/or an adult dog to get you started. It'll put much less strain on your relationship if your girlfriend fails to commit once agai
    via u/unde_cisive
  • 27
    quality_control_test 38m ago. Your partner is no longer qualified as being a suitable partner, let alone caretaker, IMO. They took responsibility for another living being, not an accessory, who will rely & depend on them for years to come.
    via u/quality_control_test
  • 28
    . No_Phone_6675 23m ago . Ask yourself one question: Is the women that already fails horribly with a dog, the women you want to built your future with? To me her behavoir is showing anything I would need to know.
    via u/No_Phone_6675

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FAILS boyfriend dogs effort babysitter adoption puppy rehome girlfriend adopted partner beg raising kids animals free
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